Friday, May 27, 2011

Relationship Advice

Tonight I saw a posting on a local news website about successful, happy couples.

It was thought provoking. The last sentence made me laugh though:

"So when planning your date nights, think about three simple words:
New, Exciting and Together." 

The last thing Jim and I would be known as by anyone is "exciting," but that made me think of tonight's date. We were at the Home Depot again. Yes, again. Jim's favorite place is the Home Depot. He spends many hours there multiplied of course by many years. I think it's a place that he goes to to relieve his stress. Some men watch sports, Jim goes to the Home Depot. Consequently, I too have spent many hours and many years at the Home Depot...with him. I can't say how many Friday night dates we have had at the Home depot, but let me tell you, it puts a whole new spin on the word "exciting."

Jim is putting in a bathroom downstairs. He can build anything and fix anything and do it really well. Granted, this bathroom has taken seven years so far but that means there have been many, many happy dates to the Home Depot during that time. Sometimes we just SAY he's working on the bathroom when in reality, six months have gone by without him even opening that bathroom door. OK, that's a bit of an exaggeration. But he really is close this time. Close enough that tonight we were looking at faucets, beadboard, and it was time to buy the paint. While I was picking out the paint, Jim was off looking at something "new and exciting" in one of the aisles. He likes the Home Depot so much that for his last birthday, everybody got him Home Depot cards.

I picked out a great color for the bathroom, deep garnet. It will look great over the off white beadboard. I want it to look like Old New England. It should be fabulous. I ordered the paint and as I was waiting at the counter, my cell phone rang. It was Elisa. One never talks softly to Elisa, every conversation is exciting and dramatic.  I talked to her for a minute and then not paying attention to who was around me listening to me, I said, "I'm on a hot date with your Dad at the Home Depot." Now my kids know that I always classify a date to the Home Depot as a "hot date." It's how I have looked on the bright side of a hardware store all these years. I distinctly remember that on our honeymoon even, we wound up in a hardware store. A faucet was leaking I think and Jim wanted to fix it. Sometimes you just got to love what your spouse know what I mean?

At any rate, the guy at the paint counter overheard me because it was Elisa on the other end and as I stated, it was a dramatic call because that's how one speaks to Elisa and he looked at me pretty funny like. Maybe that's the first time he ever heard a woman animatedly describe a trip to the Home Depot and to his paint counter with such enthusiasm. He looked pretty interested when I said, "hot date." I was slightly chagrined as I realized he overheard me and I had put the emphasis on the word "hot," as only my children can truly appreciate and understand. It's kind of a code word for "Can you believe we're at the Home Depot...AGAIN...?!"

About five minutes passed and the paint guy finally got a look at my "hot date." I'm not sure just who he was expecting but he looked a little disappointed to see Jim walking along, shirt untucked,  with two 2X4's strung over his shoulder. Oh well, he just doesn't get it and can't appreciate a true "hot date" I think. :)

The article said, "So when planning your date nights, think about three simple words: New, Exciting and Together." At least we got the words right:
  1. New: OK, the paint was new. 
  2. Exciting: Jim never knows what new and exciting thing he'll find at the Home Depot.
  3. Together: 27 years of dates to the Home Depot...don't be jealous....
And the bathroom will look fabulous!
He even took pictures...
I'm pretty sure he took pictures of the faucets too but I can't seem to find them on the camera.

I told you not to be jealous...   :)


  1. I absolutely love this, and I laughed so hard tears were running down my face. Please keep writing, it makes my whole day.

  2. I wonder how long the person has been married who said that dates had to be new and exciting. That puts too much pressure on making a date enjoyable. Really, they just need to be together and enjoyable. We don't do new and exciting much here either.

  3. Unfortunately, the paint guy probably didn't hear when I said "DON'T GET THE DARK RED COLOR!!!"

  4. Just because I never got to when I lived there....I'm gonna take a bath in that new bathtub. Because on cold winter nights in that basement, that's all I ever wanted ;)