One of Ian's BYU roommates came home from his mission Thursday evening. He served his mission in Guatemala. He had a welcome home celebration at his house after church today and so I took a few minutes to stop over to his house to say "Welcome Home." Well, I didn't realize how much seeing him and other friends of Ian's was going to affect me. I hugged him and said, "Welcome home, you're alive." That's just what came out of my mouth. He said, "Of course, what did you expect?" Then I sort of cried a bit. Men don't really get it when women cry like that. Ooops. Seeing him made me think of Ian and made me realize again that missionaries really do come home someday. Ian has been gone SO long now that it just seems like a long, long dream that he was ever here. I was ready to leave but another woman I know whose daughter had been very good friends with Ian told me she was downstairs. I went downstairs and saw her and started to cry again. Seeing her reminded me of Ian too. OK, more people to cry in front of. Then I heard a voice saying hello to me. It turned out to be Ian's best friend who just got home from his mission to New Jersey two weeks ago. I had no idea he had gotten home. Forget it, by this point I couldn't stop wiping away the tears. Here I was with tangible reminders of my son who has been missing for so long now all around me and the tears just flowed. Both of these men, because they sure seemed like men now, said the same thing..."My mission was a life-altering experience for me." Both of them had positive, good experiences. I enjoyed visiting with Ian's friends and was glad I went but found myself crying all the way home.
I came home and told Jim what happened. Then I started to cry some more. I said, "I told Travis's Mom that when Ian gets home, he would only be home for three days when we would have to bring him down to BYU again. She said she couldn't imagine that. I asked Jim how I could ever handle that. He said, "Don't worry, we'll just go down there and have Family Home Evening." We always have Family Home Evening as a family on Monday evenings. When he said that and I realized Ian wouldn't even be home for one Monday night after his mission, I just broke down and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.
I have six months to get my act together and pull myself together or I will be a mess for sure.